Just a Bout of Ranting

Thanks J for sending me the link to the video above. It made my day watching it... a little like Cing's video did. I like the music, which is what really made me happy. Although I'm having a great day, so it isn't like I need something to make me happy.

Oh, wait...one thing would make me very happy. I would love it if all of my friends would understand that I only put into a relationship what I expect out of it. Please don't waste my time if you are not willing to at least give me the same amount of respect I give you. This applies mostly for my time and energy. I’m feeling a little battered by a few people who do not seem to understand this…

If I’m making time for you it’s because I want to do it, not because I feel forced or obligated. If I go out of my way to do something nice for you, accept it. THAT IS JUST WHO I AM. Perhaps those of you who question this do so because you are not use to people offering such things without expecting something in return. P knows that I will always go above and beyond for my friends.

If that is not what you want from me than just tell me up front. Don’t parade around pretending that everything is okay while you tell everyone else that I’m trying too hard. Why not try to get to know me a little bit more before you make command decisions like that? Usually when someone is “trying to hard” they start to lay off when the novelty of the relationship wears away…you will not find this with me.

I appreciate honesty and straight forward communication. I’m not easily offended by truthful feelings, and I’m smart as hell; so please do not underestimate me. I will get it if you tell me directly that you are overwhelmed by the energy and enthusiasm I bring into a relationship. Obviously this will not work if I am extremely tired or in a large distracting place or anywhere near being drunk. You all should know better than that. ;-)

I just want all of you to understand where I am coming from; clearly not all of you know me as well as P, S, R…I can keep going, but you get the point. I’m a powerful force who tends to run over people without trying. I feel terrible when I realize that it happened, but nonetheless it will probably happen again unless I know about it. I’m emotionally sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of other people…sometimes too much. I’m often sad when the people I care about are sad. It’s who I am, and as much as I would like too, I can’t change it; but in a broad perspective who wants me too? I enjoy my level of empathy very much.

Anyways…I just had to get that off my chest after a few issues I’ve been involved in this week. No one needs to take it personally…it’s my blog and I’ll rant if I want to.