As much as I like to talk I also enjoy listening to the people around me. I have a habit of following more than one conversation at once. :-) Not to say that I’m not listening to the person who is actually talking to me, but I can additionally catch interesting words being spoken near me. I often catch parts of conversations that interest me more than the conversation I’m occupied with. Some of the people I’ve met recently can’t contribute to a conversation if their life depended on it; so I find my thoughts wondering towards more colorful discussions. It’s kind of like listening to only one end of a phone conversation.
One of my favorite Bloggers, Jeff Gates (whose blog is linked under the sites I love), has running blog entries about the phone conversations he hears while on the Metro. It’s interesting to contemplate exactly what it is the other person is saying. You can never be entirely sure of the verbiage but in most cases you can approximate the tone. What’s being said can be just as affecting as the tone it is said in; though the tone of the conversation really has the biggest impression on the majority of people. I know it does for me.
I am very sensitive to the tone in which things are said. I’ve heard a lot of garbage coming from people’s mouths in my lifetime. I have had people take their cruddy lives out on me before…I use to accept it, let it roll off my shoulders and try to forget that it happened…
…I suppose I can’t say I use to. I still do.
I understand that people need to vent and that sometimes your bad day is going to rub off on other people. You can’t just get out of your slump because you’re around someone that makes you happy. Sometimes those kinds of days just don’t come off that easily. Sometimes you will be angry at the one person you love more than anything. That’s okay too. It is okay to be angry or frustrated.
It is not okay to make that person feel worthless because you have not learned to listen to yourself as you speak. It is not okay to ignore your tone in hopes that venting on this poor person will make you feel better. It is not okay to treat the person who cares the most as someone who you could careless for.
Take a hint from me and move furniture or clean the kitchen grout with a toothbrush; for it is far easier to keep your mouth shut than it is to ask for forgiveness for saying something you will regret. The damage is already done once it is heard by its intended recipient. No amounts of “sorry” will make that other person forget what was said or the tone thereof.
Next time you are talking to someone maybe you should pay considerate attention to the tone in which you are speaking and dare to predict the affect your words will have on those who are intently listening.
One of my favorite Bloggers, Jeff Gates (whose blog is linked under the sites I love), has running blog entries about the phone conversations he hears while on the Metro. It’s interesting to contemplate exactly what it is the other person is saying. You can never be entirely sure of the verbiage but in most cases you can approximate the tone. What’s being said can be just as affecting as the tone it is said in; though the tone of the conversation really has the biggest impression on the majority of people. I know it does for me.
I am very sensitive to the tone in which things are said. I’ve heard a lot of garbage coming from people’s mouths in my lifetime. I have had people take their cruddy lives out on me before…I use to accept it, let it roll off my shoulders and try to forget that it happened…
…I suppose I can’t say I use to. I still do.
I understand that people need to vent and that sometimes your bad day is going to rub off on other people. You can’t just get out of your slump because you’re around someone that makes you happy. Sometimes those kinds of days just don’t come off that easily. Sometimes you will be angry at the one person you love more than anything. That’s okay too. It is okay to be angry or frustrated.
It is not okay to make that person feel worthless because you have not learned to listen to yourself as you speak. It is not okay to ignore your tone in hopes that venting on this poor person will make you feel better. It is not okay to treat the person who cares the most as someone who you could careless for.
Take a hint from me and move furniture or clean the kitchen grout with a toothbrush; for it is far easier to keep your mouth shut than it is to ask for forgiveness for saying something you will regret. The damage is already done once it is heard by its intended recipient. No amounts of “sorry” will make that other person forget what was said or the tone thereof.
Next time you are talking to someone maybe you should pay considerate attention to the tone in which you are speaking and dare to predict the affect your words will have on those who are intently listening.
4 comments:
Whose talking to you like that? It better not be who I think it is. I've had just about enough of his crap.
You better tell me before I get "P" involved. ;-)
I know who this is about. You called me about this.
You shouldn't post this as public unless you're sure this person will not read it. :-)
I disagree; I think she should actually go talk to the person but I think we both know that isn't going to happen.
It's your blog kid, post whatever the hell you feel like. - RM
P, why are you up so early anyways?
Wow... Not only wow on the blog (one which I think is pretty d*mn insighful) but wow on these responses! I posted something to your recent blog about being an alter ego, but it appears you already suffer from an environment of people whose boundaries are not well defined. (based on those first two comments.)
Ouch
~Psyche
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