A very difficult chapter of my life was completed this weekend…but it is proving exceedingly difficult to let go.
I know why. I just can’t stop it.
This is a point in time when friends come in really handy. However all of my friends seem to have more important things to do.
It’s okay…really. I understand that my problems are not as important to other people as their own…
The thing is…I always try to be there for them when they need consoling…but it seems that time and again no one is available when I really need them.
Why is it that I fight to make time for everyone else, drop plans to be there for those I care about when they need someone, sacrifice my own needs quite often, with little to no return when I seem to need it?
I’m left feeling…slightly deserted. Alone…trying to fight the urge to need someone I shouldn’t need anymore. I’m left to my own thoughts of inadequacy and weakness.
Perhaps I do not really need other people…maybe this is a sign that I should do this on my own.
Feeling alone is a horrible feeling.
I am desperate for solace.
I know why. I just can’t stop it.
This is a point in time when friends come in really handy. However all of my friends seem to have more important things to do.
It’s okay…really. I understand that my problems are not as important to other people as their own…
The thing is…I always try to be there for them when they need consoling…but it seems that time and again no one is available when I really need them.
Why is it that I fight to make time for everyone else, drop plans to be there for those I care about when they need someone, sacrifice my own needs quite often, with little to no return when I seem to need it?
I’m left feeling…slightly deserted. Alone…trying to fight the urge to need someone I shouldn’t need anymore. I’m left to my own thoughts of inadequacy and weakness.
Perhaps I do not really need other people…maybe this is a sign that I should do this on my own.
Feeling alone is a horrible feeling.
I am desperate for solace.
3 comments:
I hope that when you lived out here you never felt alone. You always had P and me. I like to think we were both there for you whenever you needed us.
This explains why so many abused women turn back to their abuser. Feeling alone is a scary feeling. People will try anything to not be alone; which is why it is important to be able to turn to each other. We need each other…
I’m glad that you have your parents to be with right now, though I know they do not fill the void that would more easily be filled by your friends. I know how much your friends mean to you…but in all honesty none of them seem to reciprocate those feelings…at least not in the way I think you deserve it.
You’ve surrounded yourself by needy people…needy people who seem to wrap themselves up in their own problems making it impossible for them to support you when you need it. Some people can leech like that. They take and take, always in need of something from you…but when the tables turn they can’t give back.
Perhaps you should try separating yourself from those kinds of people. You could be right, this may be a sign. This may be a sign that you need new friends…
I hope I’m wrong…you are like family to me. I hate hearing that you feel lonely.
-RM
:(
I'm sorry you are hurting, even if I'm not privy as to why. For what its worth, it will get better.
I find ice cream is a big help. Especially with hot fudge and caramel. warm.
and a comedy. comedies are good.
Ive found wasting huge amounts of better spent time on you tube is helpful, too.
*warm wishes and empathy*
i'm sorry. i had no idea you were going through this last weekend. i hope you're okay. your friends are still here! :) the move must have been tough, but now you're striking off on your own and it'll be an all-new, even better adventure!
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