**Warning: Many, in retrospect slightly depressing, thoughts included.**
…you can reach them, meet them, or exceed them. They can be high, low, or virtually none existent. They can be long term, short term, or random.
Everyone has expectations…some of us more than others.
What happens when we don’t meet other’s expectations? Better yet, what happens when they fail to meet our expectations?
In relationships this becomes a bitter question of desire and need. Do I need the person still? Am I okay with this person performing below my expectations? How important are my expectations to me? Can I overlook my expectations because this person attends my other needs?
Specifically in a romantic relationship the question frequently narrows down to whether their affection makes up for their lack of reaching your expectations. Does the fantastic, mind-blowing sex make up for their failing to meet your expectations?
In a friendship is often becomes a battle of esteem. Do I need this person as a friend even though they bounced my expectations? Often we ask ourselves, “Is it worth losing a friend over this?”
Ah, so this is where we reflect. What are my expectations? How attainable are these expectations? ARE THEY REALISTIC?
What we should be asking is: If I were on the other side of the table would I be able to reach these expectations myself? Am I building expectations because of a past experience?
IF I were to build expectations from past experiences it would look something like this: This fabulously nice guy will turn out to be a complete and utter Ass Hole…I’ll still fall for him, then I’ll get burnt…but am likely to believe he’s sorry and will never do it again…so I will stay.
Luckily I do not have such depressing expectations of people…though those ideas greatly affect what expectations I do have.
People will get close, and then they will leave. It is a way of life; I’m not going to stop it from happening.
People take as much as they can from those closest to them. It’s human nature, so get use to it.
Men tend to have ulterior motives…figure it out quick so you can prepare to be hurt by it. It hurts less when you know its coming.
I like to call them “realistic” expectations.
Okay, okay…so they are not as far off from each other, but one can wish can’t they?
Is it true that if you expect nothing from people you will be happily surprised more often?
…you can reach them, meet them, or exceed them. They can be high, low, or virtually none existent. They can be long term, short term, or random.
Everyone has expectations…some of us more than others.
What happens when we don’t meet other’s expectations? Better yet, what happens when they fail to meet our expectations?
In relationships this becomes a bitter question of desire and need. Do I need the person still? Am I okay with this person performing below my expectations? How important are my expectations to me? Can I overlook my expectations because this person attends my other needs?
Specifically in a romantic relationship the question frequently narrows down to whether their affection makes up for their lack of reaching your expectations. Does the fantastic, mind-blowing sex make up for their failing to meet your expectations?
In a friendship is often becomes a battle of esteem. Do I need this person as a friend even though they bounced my expectations? Often we ask ourselves, “Is it worth losing a friend over this?”
Ah, so this is where we reflect. What are my expectations? How attainable are these expectations? ARE THEY REALISTIC?
What we should be asking is: If I were on the other side of the table would I be able to reach these expectations myself? Am I building expectations because of a past experience?
IF I were to build expectations from past experiences it would look something like this: This fabulously nice guy will turn out to be a complete and utter Ass Hole…I’ll still fall for him, then I’ll get burnt…but am likely to believe he’s sorry and will never do it again…so I will stay.
Luckily I do not have such depressing expectations of people…though those ideas greatly affect what expectations I do have.
People will get close, and then they will leave. It is a way of life; I’m not going to stop it from happening.
People take as much as they can from those closest to them. It’s human nature, so get use to it.
Men tend to have ulterior motives…figure it out quick so you can prepare to be hurt by it. It hurts less when you know its coming.
I like to call them “realistic” expectations.
Okay, okay…so they are not as far off from each other, but one can wish can’t they?
Is it true that if you expect nothing from people you will be happily surprised more often?
1 comment:
I don't think you should worry about not reaching people's expectations. You have higher expectations for yourself than anyone else would have for you. ;)
-RM
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