Idiosyncrasies Meet Raw Indomitability

I completely understand people’s idiosyncrasies, and I understand that people don’t always have the same level of ambition; but there should be no reason why people have to exert their attitude on others.

I come into work on time every day. I normally eat through my lunches if I decide to eat, and I’m always available when people need me. I take on more work readily. I meet all of my deadlines so far as I have control over. I make it to all of my meetings on time. I ride that delicate balance between having fun and getting my work done.

So what is the deal with the person in the office that can’t seem to do any of it? He doesn’t come in on time. He take his lunch late and then comes back two hours later. He takes four to six smoke breaks a day, each at least ten to fifteen minutes long. He doesn’t have any projects assigned to him anymore because he can’t get anything done on time or remotely correct.

Where did those projects go? You’ve got it. Me. I get to receive ten different calls a day from Chase Morgan to notify me that the control totals from the day before still have not been called in. I have to sift through those ten calls to see if any of them are valid. That’s just the start of it.

To add insult to injury he corrupts my temp. So now I have a mouthy temp who doesn’t think he has to do anything because this particular guy does crap and still gets paid…gets paid to search on eBay all day and smoke. What a life huh? Is it any wonder the temp wasn’t offered the full time position we had?

I tell you what. You can slack off all you want. You can sit on your ass and let everyone else work hard around you. You can decide that dedication is only for those who want something out of life, but you don’t have to take action because you are coming to the end of yours. You can think that since you are close to retirement you can bad mouth others behind their backs and walk around calling the woman you work with derogatory names.

You can do that if that’s what make you sleep at night; but do not waste my time. Do not point a finger at me when you screw something up. Do not cry in the boss’ office that I am unfair and a cruel hearted bitch. Do not get in my way as I work up to the top. Some day I will be your boss (if you hold out long enough old man) and you will want me on your good side.

Do not underestimate the determination of this chica.

Early Morning Phone Calls and Still No Ballet Date

It isn’t often that I am not able to find someone to do something with…but I think I might have met my match.

I simply cannot find someone to go to ballet with me this weekend.

It’s supposed to be a great ballet, and I have third (or fourth) row orchestra seats! Those are great seats! Why someone wouldn’t want to take me up on my offer just for the seats, I don’t know. It will be a great way to spend a Saturday night. It’s like going to the Opera; everyone gets dressed up and time seems to pause. The only difference is that I don’t have to search for someone to go to the Opera with me.

I find this very ironic; everyone wants to go to the Opera with me, but no one wants to go to a ballet. I get tickets every season to the Washington Opera from my Super-diva Mom; and people fight over my extra ticket like it’s the Hope Diamond. I just don’t get it.

So in the end I will be at that ballet, even if I’m by myself. I’ve done it before for the Opera, so I’ll do it again. Heck, it’s the Kennedy Center…I’m bound to run into someone I know.

Oh yes; thank you, to all of you men in my life, for blowing up my phone late last night. P, you must have missed the memo, I did not hear from you. Beware gentlemen; I’m going to start charging by the minute after 2:00 am. Perhaps some of you can wake up your girlfriends instead? Silly me, then I wouldn’t be Katharine who keeps her phone on and beside her bed for just such occasions.

Infinite Relief in Habitual Respiration

I feel so unmotivated to do anything productive today. All I really want is to sleep in a perpetual warm hug knowing that I’m not expected to do more then inhale/exhale exercises.

Wouldn’t that be great?

It is great for those of us who know what it's like to not be able to do that. Hugs always make breathing easier.

Hugs make EVERYTHING better.

Popping Up More Than a Daisy

I think it’s getting closer to my gardening season. I want to make sure that there will be no more freezing nights, so I might wait a couple more weeks yet. I’m very excited about this season, except for the fact that I don’t get direct sunlight on my balcony; I think it’ll be a great year. I’m planning on planting the normal violets. They are one of my favorite flowers…other than bulb flowers of course.

I might have to replant my hyacinths; I will dig up my bulbs in a few weeks and make sure they are not rotten from all of the water they drowned in this last month or so. They popped up very early because of the spring-like weeks we had right before all the snow, so of course they died back and never bloomed. This puts a serious damper on my spring. I was looking forward to coming home to some very beautiful hyacinths, but alas there are none.

I might steal some cuttings from my Mom’s hydrangea bush. I wonder what color they would be with the potting soil I use.

I can’t wait to get outside and get my hands in some potting soil…I can’t say dirty since the get dirty regularly at the barn…

It Must Be Spring...

It has to be spring...everyone I know seems to be pregnant. It's kind of bitter sweet that my life isn't making it possible to join all of the blissful mothers-to-be.

I passed the family tradition of being married with one kid by the time I was eighteen, what more do I have to wait for?!

I think it's funny to imagine what my life would be like if I had married J from college. I'd definitely have a kid or two. I wouldn't be living in D.C.; that boy would have died before visiting such a huge city. I'd be very unhappy for sure, probably would be smoking like a broken chimney.

On that other hand it is very interesting to contemplate what my life would be like if I had a baby now. I most certainly would have different friends, but for a few. I'd still be working where I am now, living in the same area. I might be married, but if common sense had anything to do with it I would not.

Its interesting food for thought...just how much change having a baby brings to your life...

Coupés and Piqués

I had my ballet class last night. I shouldn’t skip any more classes. Every time I skip one I come back to find that I’m once again in the front of everyone for the recital. Trudged my way through Coupés and Piqués across the floor, trying to figure out why this was so hard for some of the girls to figure out… Chassé, Coupé then Piqué. That’s it; you do it twice in one direction, then turn and do it again in the other direction. Needless to say we spent 20 minutes doing this back and forth across the floor. Someone couldn’t figure out where to put their hands, so they were told just to put them on their waist for the time being. Someone else couldn’t figure out how to Coupé into a Piqué fast enough without sickling their feet.

It was all getting just a little old, but I was enjoying the workout until someone turned on the overhead fans. Why do people think it’s a good idea to turn on fans while people are sweating? Sure! Let’s freeze the sweat right off you.

We skip some of the dance to get to the end sequence. I finally end up in the back!! Woo Hoo, being a little taller than some of the other girls pays off! This is the Pirouette combination. I love it. I don’t care much for Pirouettes unless its part of a combination, just because turning in endless circles gets old after a while. I get to be in the back right; we are in this diamond-type circle on the floor. I love it! Of course the girl who is in the center front holds her hands like she’s about to do a cheer…but I’m NOT complaining. Let her cheer, I don’t have to be in the front!

We end out class by going through the entire dance as we have it choreographed. It isn’t bad at all…if only we didn’t have to dance to Vivaldi. Ugh, I’ve had enough of Vivaldi. I wish I hadn’t missed the class where they picked out the music…but that just goes towards the argument that I shouldn’t miss any more classes.

Oh yes, and I got new toe pads. Did I remember to bring them to class? Nope. Next time…

Oh the Quesadilla Choices!

I slept through my alarm this morning, so right off the bat I’m think today isn’t going to be so good.

I get into the office and go grab breakfast with M. Yeah, yeah, so I was an hour late to work…that doesn’t mean I have to skip my caffeinated liquid-breakfast does it? I get back to my desk and start sifting through 107 emails. 107! Just from Friday afternoon through Monday morning. What could these people possible want over the weekend?!

Most of them were from another stable that I take lessons at. I school with this fantastic dressage horse and instructor, but I have to say, the concomitant annoyances of schooling at a place that is primarily catered to children really bites! I’m not going to stop going there; the instructor is amazing. I just get irritated that I have to be copied on all of these emails going out to parents about this and that.

I think I need to get more sleep. I went out to lunch with my old boss and M, and it took me about 15 minutes to decide on a chicken quesadilla. 15 minutes! It’s Baja Fresh for God’s sake, how hard can it be?

I’m also working on this billing system issue at work, but the folks out in California and up in Connecticut just don’t seem to want to play nice. Why can’t they just admit that they might have screwed something up and get on with it. I just want it fixed; I could care less who made the mistake. So that takes up a giant chunk of my time right now…”No, you legally have to notify people of this…” “Yes, I think this is part of a binding contract…” “No, we still need these folks notified to be compliant with federal legislation…”

Oh Lord what a day…it certainly can get worse…but one can hope.

Brindisi...Not a Bad Idea

Libiamo, libiamo ne’lieti calici

che la belleza infiora.

E la fuggevol ora s’inebrii

a voluttà.

Libiamo ne’dolci fremiti

che suscita l’amore,

poiché quell’ochio al core

omnipotente va.

Libiamo, amore fra i calici

più caldi baci avrà.

Tra voi, tra voi saprò dividere

il tempo mio giocondo;

Tutto è follia nel mondo ciò

follyche non è piacer.

Godiam, fugace e rapido

e’il gaudio dell’amore,

e’un fior che nasce e muore,

ne più si può goder.

Godiam, c’invita un fervido

accento lusighier.

(Godiamo, la tazza e il cantico

la notte abbella e il riso;

in questo paradiso ne sopra

il nuovo dì.)

La vita è nel tripudio

quando non s’ami ancora.

Nol dite a chi l’ignora,

e’ il mio destin così...

Woo Hoo! I just got approval from above to head home as soon as I can get this meeting taken care of. Come on three hour time difference, my sorry butt needs to go home!

Rainy Day Meetings

All this rain makes me want to crawl back into my bed, get under the down comforter, and watch a movie...and of course get some cuddle action in with Kira.

It's kind of depressing really. I want to go home and veg but I postponed a meeting from yesterday to today, and I have too many people looking at this project to back it off until Monday. I'm debating getting this meeting over with early and taking the rest of the day as a sick day. All I have to do is wait for the folks in California to get into the office...

Blind Trust and Unconditional Love Take a Ride with Pain

I couldn’t sleep last night. I tossed and turned and when I did doze off I had the same dream over and over again. I finally got up and took the dog out…at about 3:15. I jogged her up by the mall, turned left went down to the Safeway, turned left again and went to the Silver Diner, then turned right and went back home.

On the way home we ran into a guy wearing a really baggy sweatshirt. Kira started growling, and not the cute puppy growl that she has when she’s playing. The guy crossed the street right before passing us. Good girl Kira! This is why I don’t worry about going out for midnight jogs!

We get home, but I still feel restless. I read for about a half hour, but still don’t want to back to sleep. I’m trying to avoid dreaming. I contemplate taking something, but by now I wouldn’t be able to get eight full hours of sleep. More like two. I go back to bed and just stare at the ceiling…thinking.

Why is it that Kira so readily jumps to my defense if she thinks I’m in danger? People don’t do that. Isn’t it strange that an animal that has no cognizant thought can do what well educated, conscious people cannot? She didn’t think about the danger she could be putting herself in. She doesn’t question what she feels she has to do to protect the thing most important to her. Why can’t people do that for each other? Why do we question one another’s intentions? What happened to blind trust? What happened to being there for someone not matter what just because you love them? Why question love? Why determine your level of participation based on theirs?

We are all broken in some way. We all have history; some good, and some very bad. We are a conscious people, so we don’t let ourselves forget our past. We hold our past against other people. We punish them because we torment ourselves with our history.

For example; I have issues with people who get aggressive when they drink. It’s all in my past and it reminds me of terrible things from my past. I’ve turned down potentially great dates because they acted like R when I met them, and I just can’t go there again.

The key is not judging people until you get to know them. Don’t punish someone because you are afraid of history repeating itself. What happened to blind trust? Someone got hurt. That’s what happened. Someone got hurt, and will forever protect themselves from being hurt in the same way. Why question love? Because loving someone means being ultimately vulnerable and opening yourself up to the possibility of being hurt again. Why do it? Because life isn’t worth it if you can’t have a little blind trust and it isn’t worth living if you can’t love someone and risk being broken.

I woke up twenty minutes later feeling like I’ve slept all night, with Kira’s snoring head on my stomach.

Someone Has to Prove the Earth Isn't Flat

God what a beautiful mind he has...and they don't even know it. He doesn't always know how many people he has behind him...so he fabricates modesty.

We all are so very good at pretending not to care, aren't we? The endless game we play because no body knows what will happen if we stop.

What will happen if we stop playing? The unknown is a vast ambience of fear and suspicion...so vast that it escapes our minds to even cogitate what is possible.

Someone needs be thrown in the deep end so we all can see if they sink or swim.

Mineral Water or Sludge

Posted to my My Space Blog January 31st 2007.

My Mom recently came up with this great idea to build her "gremlin" into something tangible so she can be reminded of it always. I happen to think this is a great idea by the way.

I walk into my Mom's office the other night and see this Barbie doll lying on her desk. I pick it up. It's attached to something that is covered by a piece of paper. I move the paper because naturally I'm as curious as the dead cat. She has the beautiful Barbie attached to an identical Barbie that looks like it survived an Atomic bomb and then found its way into a meat grinder. This Barbie was burnt, smashed, and painted on, stapled, and melted to list a few.

So I find myself unable to put the Barbie down. It's amazing to me. Not because I enjoyed seeing such a handsome doll destroyed and wished I had the guts to do it (all of my toys were kept as nicely as a 6 year old can keep things). I couldn't turn away because I saw how true it really was; her gremlin hit home.

Life is like that. One minute you are expected to perform perfectly, you should look perfect, act perfect, and talk perfect. You have to present yourself in a certain way. You have to walk a certain way. The next minute you're being told you aren't enough. "Sorry Babe, I've found someone else." "Sorry, your promotion is going to someone else." "Sorry, you just aren't skinny enough." "Sorry, you're too thin."

It's a vicious circle that spins us around until we find ourselves throwing up in the nearest garbage can.

Yadda, yadda, yadda. That's it. That's what I think about that.

If I want to display manners and a little etiquette now and then, why can't I? I get looks like I'm a snob or I am told that I care too much about what people think. This just simply isn't true. Though I do care about what people think, and I care very much how people feel, it doesn't run my life. I can try to make you happy, but ultimately you have to make yourself happy. I want to be the best person I can be because it makes me happy. I enjoy having impeccable manners (which I know my past dates enjoyed), and you can always bring me home to Mom!

So I guess the question is still relevant. Do you think your alright, or do you believe that society dictates whether your mineral water or sludge?

Von Dixie's Herrn, aka Killer Kira?

My Boxer puppy was bitten by another dog this weekend while at the barn. Doesn’t anyone else think there’s a problem with a dog that bites with the intent of doing harm? Kira is only a puppy; a 60 pound puppy, but a puppy none the less.

She has had plenty of dogs “school” her by mouthing her or head pinning her on the ground. Her Sheppard friend Lexi likes to grab her leg and pull it out from under her when she starts playing ruff. This is completely acceptable to me…but I understand dog behavior. I think my extensive study on canine behaviorism is being extremely underestimated.

The fact that Kira had at least 25 pounds on this other dog helps prove that she could not have been the aggressive one…otherwise poor little Crunch might not have walked away.

Perhaps I should enroll Kira in a doggie-self defense class.

In hind-site I wish she had lived up to everyone’s idea that Boxers are dangerous dogs because they look a little like pit bulls; at least the bite wounds on her face wouldn’t have been for nothing. My champion-bloodline purebred baby should probably stick to dogs that don’t maul her…I don’t think the AKC will recognize boxers whose ears are cropped by the mouths of other dogs. Is that a new breed standard?

M suggested she take Keigo to the barn with me next weekend, maybe next to a 175 pound Tosa Inu Kira won't look so vicious.

Doing A Lot of Damage Very Quickly

Anyone who has lived or experienced a person with Bipolar Disorder knows how badly an episode can tear emotions.

My family was recently afflicted by one such episode and is suffering from the aftermath.

We are left in a bit of mass confusion. No one is positive what to think or believe…and certainly no one knows what is going through the head of this individual. We do know that he has hurt someone very much.

As I cannot begin to presume what others are thinking, I believe that it is safe to say this much: we love him very much and hope that he finds his way somehow. We all want him to be safe and do what he needs to do to be happy.

Stop Looking in the Mirror and Turn Around

The two of us are not as different as you think…

I feel my avidity withering away too

Will Explain Quantum Theory for Food

will explain quantum theory for food
Originally uploaded by leslie powell.

I'm within the top 2.59% richest people in the world...in fact I'm supposedly the 155,652,174th richest person in the world.

Too bad most of that goes to taxes...

One thing should be stated...once you've reached $200,000 as your salary you are automatically placed within the top .01%. I checked.

This is good information; it makes me feel better about how much of my money goes to good causes. Being good to those around me keeps me off the streets!