One Hell of an Adult-Themed Post!

LIBRA, the sex addict:
Very pretty; very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun, and sweet; they have a unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in Bed!!! Not the kind of person you want to fuck with...you might end up crying... The most irresistible, rare to find; is funny and talkative. Did I say Amazing in Bed? Is erotic and smart; loves sports. Gets what he/she wants; loves to be in a relationship.

I found a bulletin today that had this description of a Libra. I don’t know if this entirely describes me, but it doesn’t sound half bad.

I saw a movie last night with A, about a girl who is deaf and mute who is stuck listening to people’s secrets since she can’t really hear or repeat information. It was very interesting. All of the main characters, besides the father, were in High School. It was very apparent that the most important thing to these High School kids, and actually the father as well, was having sex. I have to admit that when I was in high school sex was the last thing on my mind.

Now it’s the only thing on my mind. Ugh. As much as I don’t want to admit it, it’s been a long time since I’ve had a really good experience in the bedroom department. A really long time. I’m watching this movie about these teenagers obsessing about who wants to screw who and whether someone’s big enough or not…they used select language that even adults I know wouldn’t use so openly. (Maybe that’s my social upbringing coming out…it’s just not polite to use certain phrases in mixed company.)

So I’m watching this movie, and every other scene I’m reminded just how slow my sex department is. Even when it wasn’t so slow, the shoppers were all pretty mediocre. I’m not saying that they may have rocked someone else’s world at one time or another; it just didn’t do it for me.

Then this morning a dear friend of mine calls complaining about why all of the sudden all of the men she knows want to have alternate methods of sex; as if “normal” sex just isn’t doing it for anyone now. I’m not sure I can define “normal” because I believe we all have a little sex-kitten in us that gets excited about doing “different” things, and being such we all interpret “normal” differently. In this particular case “normal” is not limited to how it is done or what location people chose to be in when partaking in such activities, as much as to where certain things are going.

(Using tact and maintaining some form of dignity while writing this is proving exceedingly difficult)

I’m listening to my friend, all the while thinking why are you complaining? At least you're having sex!

So then the next question is what do I do about it? I may chose to search out a potential partner; it can’t be that hard…but then what does that make me? Am I to be branded for life because I am seeking out someone to actually rock the boat for me? What if I find someone up for the task, but they prove unworthy? Do I keep searching?

I can’t…no, I won’t do that. I’m not up for the task at hand. I’m sorry if I can count my partners on my fingers…and no I’m not deformed in some way that gives me addition fingers to count on. I actually just found men who defined what I was looking for, in more ways than one, and I kept them around until one or both of us decided it was no longer working. No, I didn’t mix around and find a different man for each night of the week. It’s a little something called Monogamy. For those of you who have never heard this word it means: the practice of having only one mate.

That being said I think the most difficult line for me to cross is the fact that I don’t sleep with men immediately. The last person I tangled with way before I prefer to admit…well that relationship (if you can call it such) pretty much proved why I have a rule in the first place. I’m neither “easy” nor a slut…and I prefer not to be labeled as such. I prefer to know someone a little bit, become comfortable around them, and try to decrease the chance of what R affectionately refers to as a “bang and run” situation.

It’s actually kind of pitiful in a way…but hell, we’ve all been there and done that; just some of us are going through it now.

I with so many guy friends, all of whom are in a relationship of some type….

…except for wonderful S who lives so damn far away….S proves that sometimes friends make the best lovers…they tend to know you better than you think. ;-) Plus, in most cases and if things are arranged carefully, I think they make an exception to many rules…

Se’la’vie

Beautiful People Can Be Incredibly Smart…

Someone very smart posted a blog about awkwardness and frustration that we cannot always reach out to each other because of misunderstandings and the threat of leaving the wrong impression.

All I have to say is that people in dire need of comfort will never turn away a concerned thought…or hand for that matter. Human contact is a powerful thing…it can mend even the most broken hearts.

I should also congratulate said “Smart Someone” for something that happened this weekend. I really hope that things work out this time and that everyone comes out happy in the end. That’s my most sincere wish. :-)

Perhaps R is right, I might consider a trip out to California for a little TLC. P has been asking me to come, and I could really use a big hug and the chance to just cry it out.

Brio, you are correct that my friends are still here; they are just currently occupied with both great and not-so-great things going on in their own lives. They have enough to worry about without my problems.

Perhaps the best thing for me to do is revel in their happiness until whatever this is goes away.

Please just let it go away. It really hurts.

You’re wrong…sometimes you are alone…

A very difficult chapter of my life was completed this weekend…but it is proving exceedingly difficult to let go.

I know why. I just can’t stop it.

This is a point in time when friends come in really handy. However all of my friends seem to have more important things to do.

It’s okay…really. I understand that my problems are not as important to other people as their own…

The thing is…I always try to be there for them when they need consoling…but it seems that time and again no one is available when I really need them.

Why is it that I fight to make time for everyone else, drop plans to be there for those I care about when they need someone, sacrifice my own needs quite often, with little to no return when I seem to need it?

I’m left feeling…slightly deserted. Alone…trying to fight the urge to need someone I shouldn’t need anymore. I’m left to my own thoughts of inadequacy and weakness.

Perhaps I do not really need other people…maybe this is a sign that I should do this on my own.

Feeling alone is a horrible feeling.

I am desperate for solace.

Tales Of Mere Existence

Oh this applies to so many people I know…we are amazingly intelligent people who love to torture ourselves.