Mindless Thoughts Cause Infinite Dreams

I’ve been daydreaming all day today.

I would give my first born right now if I could leave my office and just go play outside. I don’t care how cold it is. Anything would be better than being stuck inside on a day like today.

Come summer I will be wiggling in my chair waiting for the clock to tick five o’ clock. It will not be able to come sooner. Time will almost stand still at ten minutes till and I will be in complete agony.

Is there anything better than a girl who loves to pull on an old pair of jeans and ride until her bum is numb and her legs burning beneath her? I love getting dirty with my pony!

Oh yes, and Dart is still lame but hopefully new shoes will make it better soon!

Bearing Love with Longanimity

Love can be excruciating sometimes.

Just saying that little word can bring a lot of heartache and bruising. Once love is brought into the picture the flood gates open for all existing brands of suffering.

It’s interesting that such a simple word can bring such an onslaught of tribulation.

An evasive word but not spoken nearly enough. Perhaps if it were it would not be such an afflicting term.

Perhaps if we heard it spoken often with such sentiment that only true devotion and fervor are evoked we would never again feel the tumultuous strain of vulnerability and mauled emotions.

After all, this little word is easily not spoken but interminably felt and impossible to ignore.

We all need to encounter love more often.

Inveigh To Someone Less Happy Than I

The cherry blossoms are blooming.

This is one of my favorite times of the year. I could walk around downtown for hours snapping pictures of the blossoms and the people who flock there to see them.

It’s interesting to see the different types of people who come out. It’s almost like the cherry blossoms signal an end to our hibernation.

That is what we do after all. We hibernate; but not just our bodies, we hibernate everything.

One of my biggest peeves is when you know that someone is thinking about something, and you really do want to hear what it is, but they only mumble “nothing” when you ask them to disclose their thoughts. I’m guilty of this myself; though it doesn’t bother me quite as much when I do it as when others do it. ;-)

The fact is that no one likes to share their thoughts if there is any consideration that one’s thoughts might not be taken the way they are meant. We don’t want to open ourselves up to that kind of rejection. What if I want to tell someone I love them (this might be the ultimate example), but when all is said and done the expression on the recipients face is one of utter shock and disgust? Alas the threat of such an event smolders any aspiration of sharing one’s thoughts. It just won’t happen.

So we satisfy out pathetic hunger with thoughts of what that other person might say. We muse about what it could be like.

Hahaha…we just stare longingly into one another’s eyes willing them to say exactly what we are thinking so we both can feel contentment and comfort.

I don’t have to say anything because it’s obvious that the person staring into my eyes already feels what I’m thinking…

….when in reality they are thinking about French fries or some other guilty pleasure.

Unwanted Rebarbative Commentaries

As much as I like to talk I also enjoy listening to the people around me. I have a habit of following more than one conversation at once. :-) Not to say that I’m not listening to the person who is actually talking to me, but I can additionally catch interesting words being spoken near me. I often catch parts of conversations that interest me more than the conversation I’m occupied with. Some of the people I’ve met recently can’t contribute to a conversation if their life depended on it; so I find my thoughts wondering towards more colorful discussions. It’s kind of like listening to only one end of a phone conversation.

One of my favorite Bloggers, Jeff Gates (whose blog is linked under the sites I love), has running blog entries about the phone conversations he hears while on the Metro. It’s interesting to contemplate exactly what it is the other person is saying. You can never be entirely sure of the verbiage but in most cases you can approximate the tone. What’s being said can be just as affecting as the tone it is said in; though the tone of the conversation really has the biggest impression on the majority of people. I know it does for me.

I am very sensitive to the tone in which things are said. I’ve heard a lot of garbage coming from people’s mouths in my lifetime. I have had people take their cruddy lives out on me before…I use to accept it, let it roll off my shoulders and try to forget that it happened…

…I suppose I can’t say I use to. I still do.

I understand that people need to vent and that sometimes your bad day is going to rub off on other people. You can’t just get out of your slump because you’re around someone that makes you happy. Sometimes those kinds of days just don’t come off that easily. Sometimes you will be angry at the one person you love more than anything. That’s okay too. It is okay to be angry or frustrated.

It is not okay to make that person feel worthless because you have not learned to listen to yourself as you speak. It is not okay to ignore your tone in hopes that venting on this poor person will make you feel better. It is not okay to treat the person who cares the most as someone who you could careless for.

Take a hint from me and move furniture or clean the kitchen grout with a toothbrush; for it is far easier to keep your mouth shut than it is to ask for forgiveness for saying something you will regret. The damage is already done once it is heard by its intended recipient. No amounts of “sorry” will make that other person forget what was said or the tone thereof.

Next time you are talking to someone maybe you should pay considerate attention to the tone in which you are speaking and dare to predict the affect your words will have on those who are intently listening.