So I’m terribly sick with Tonsillitis. This doesn’t sound serious, but apparently is, for adults. The infection is so bad it spread… Not good I hear.
I have to have surgery next week to remove everything. Not good either, as I hear it. Apparently having T&A surgery is fine…if you’re a kid. I’ve asked people to stop with the horror stories. I’m not interested.
So in the face of real surgery…of course I thought at first it was as simple as removing wisdom teeth (wrong)…I’ve been thinking about priorities and life. Yes, I’m very fearful of the upcoming surgery…I’d be a little crazy not to be.
It’s taken my parents God knows how long to create a will. I’ve harassed them umpteen times to finish it for their son’s, who’s a minor remember, sake. I’ve spent hours arguing that if something where to happen to them today he would sit in foster care until I could get through the court system to gain custody.
Grant it, I’m sure no one would challenge my fight for custody…except for one Aunt, who will remain nameless. She would do stuff like that. I would deem her the martyr of the family. Does she want L Jr.? No. Would she fight for custody of him so everyone would find her valiant and saintly? You bet. She’d do it just so everyone would talk about how selfless she is, and how she picked up the crumbles of a crushed family…
…sorry, I threw up a little in my mouth…
So they finally have decided to complete the will. This means determining once and for all if my estranged brother JT wishes to ever participate in my mother’s life again. Hasn’t called in three years, and told her three years and two months ago he doesn’t want her to be his mother…but hey, everyone needs closure, right?
My concern, other than the fact that this is taking time away from finishing the will, is that JT has, and always will milk everything for what it’s worth. Hmm…well-to-do mother comes back into life. What can I get out of this? Bingo.
It’s frustrating to see that happen.
However, my mother seems to see it coming and it appears is armed and ready for what might come. I’m not worried for her.
That said my relationship with JT is nearly none existent. I’m not sure I’m willing to make it better at this time. Perhaps if he moved out of Dad’s house and made like an adult I would consider moving forward. I just can’t seem to make myself want to correspond with someone working well below expectations. Not to mention a few things I heard from people he treated less than ideally recently.
I decided some time back, that I will not lower my expectations in people and refuse to participate in less than ideal relationships. This means with family as well. Why not? Why not treat family like all other individuals in your life? What makes them so special? Hold them to the same bar!
If they piss you off, then tell them. You would anyone else, right? So why not face them and tell them so? If they get upset and stop talking to you, then oh well. It’s their loss. If they don’t want to be your friend, oh well. Find another friend. Only a few members of my family can claim to be friends of mine, so what do I care?
I’m prioritizing healthful, mutually beneficial, interesting, productive, life altering relationships. If you don’t fit the bill, you are not free to join. I’m afraid I will not apologize for this. I’m not sorry. If you don’t like it, change. Contribute healthy, interesting, productive pieces to the relationship. Make it mutually beneficial and life altering. Then you can be my friend.
Until then find another sandbox to play in, mine is full.
I can go into surgery knowing I’m surrounded by those who fit my priorities for life. Can you say the same?
I have to have surgery next week to remove everything. Not good either, as I hear it. Apparently having T&A surgery is fine…if you’re a kid. I’ve asked people to stop with the horror stories. I’m not interested.
So in the face of real surgery…of course I thought at first it was as simple as removing wisdom teeth (wrong)…I’ve been thinking about priorities and life. Yes, I’m very fearful of the upcoming surgery…I’d be a little crazy not to be.
It’s taken my parents God knows how long to create a will. I’ve harassed them umpteen times to finish it for their son’s, who’s a minor remember, sake. I’ve spent hours arguing that if something where to happen to them today he would sit in foster care until I could get through the court system to gain custody.
Grant it, I’m sure no one would challenge my fight for custody…except for one Aunt, who will remain nameless. She would do stuff like that. I would deem her the martyr of the family. Does she want L Jr.? No. Would she fight for custody of him so everyone would find her valiant and saintly? You bet. She’d do it just so everyone would talk about how selfless she is, and how she picked up the crumbles of a crushed family…
…sorry, I threw up a little in my mouth…
So they finally have decided to complete the will. This means determining once and for all if my estranged brother JT wishes to ever participate in my mother’s life again. Hasn’t called in three years, and told her three years and two months ago he doesn’t want her to be his mother…but hey, everyone needs closure, right?
My concern, other than the fact that this is taking time away from finishing the will, is that JT has, and always will milk everything for what it’s worth. Hmm…well-to-do mother comes back into life. What can I get out of this? Bingo.
It’s frustrating to see that happen.
However, my mother seems to see it coming and it appears is armed and ready for what might come. I’m not worried for her.
That said my relationship with JT is nearly none existent. I’m not sure I’m willing to make it better at this time. Perhaps if he moved out of Dad’s house and made like an adult I would consider moving forward. I just can’t seem to make myself want to correspond with someone working well below expectations. Not to mention a few things I heard from people he treated less than ideally recently.
I decided some time back, that I will not lower my expectations in people and refuse to participate in less than ideal relationships. This means with family as well. Why not? Why not treat family like all other individuals in your life? What makes them so special? Hold them to the same bar!
If they piss you off, then tell them. You would anyone else, right? So why not face them and tell them so? If they get upset and stop talking to you, then oh well. It’s their loss. If they don’t want to be your friend, oh well. Find another friend. Only a few members of my family can claim to be friends of mine, so what do I care?
I’m prioritizing healthful, mutually beneficial, interesting, productive, life altering relationships. If you don’t fit the bill, you are not free to join. I’m afraid I will not apologize for this. I’m not sorry. If you don’t like it, change. Contribute healthy, interesting, productive pieces to the relationship. Make it mutually beneficial and life altering. Then you can be my friend.
Until then find another sandbox to play in, mine is full.
I can go into surgery knowing I’m surrounded by those who fit my priorities for life. Can you say the same?
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